I have never been around kids as much as I have this summer. Between entertaining my boss’s 5-year-old at the office to living with my almost 2-year-old cousin Hayley, some days there’s very little time I’m NOT around kids.
I love kids as much as any human does, but when they get to be around my cousin’s age they morph into little monsters. At 20 months, Hayley has begun her terrible two’s early…whining, crying, throwing tantrums, the works. My aunt has taken to calling her Linda Blair while my uncle has repeatedly threatened to sell her to gypsies. When she’s not possessed by a demon, she’s adorable, and good thing too. As my uncle once grumbled, “The reason they make them so cute is so we don’t eat them.”
After a particularly hellish tantrum, my uncle jokingly asked me, “So, how many kids do you want?” I stared at him very seriously and said, “Oh, I already sold all my eggs.”
Not true, but that’s not to say I haven’t been tempted, being surrounded by children all summer. It’s excellent birth control at the very least. The only side effect is insanity.
Being cute really is their saving grace. Hayley is absolutely adorable. Hilarious, too. Last week one of Hayley’s daycare teachers said, “I love you, Hayley!”
And you know what Miss Hayley said?
“I love cheese.”
Gotta love a girl with an appetite.