Yesterday, I did something blasphemous to my culture and my own morals…I ate an inauthentic Cuban sandwich. Dun dun DUUUUN. Those of you who may have read my previous posts or notes on Facebook know of my war with Rand over their “Cuban sandwich” in Chef James Bistro. I don’t know what possessed me to get it (on meal plan of course–not wasting meal money on that), probably just a sick curiosity. Here’s a refresher course on what a Cuban sandwich is, and what they think it is:
An Authentic Cuban Sandwich: authentic Cuban bread, seasoned PORK, ham, sometimes salami, swiss, pickles, mustard, NEVER mayonnaise, NEVER turkey
Their Cuban Sandwich: french bread, turkey, ham, salami, swiss, pickles, mustard, mayonnaise.
As you can see, their sandwich is highly inauthentic. I took the sandwich to a nice patch of sun outside the dining hall, unwrapped the unweildly plastic wrap, and took a bite. To put it concisely, it was horrible. Cuban sandwiches don’t have mayonnaise, but this sandwich had too much mayonnaise for ANY type of sandwich. If I wanted that much mayonnaise, I’d pop open a fresh jar and grab a spoon. There was no hint, at all, in the flavor that it was meant to be a Cuban sandwich. It was pathetic. Cuban sandwiches have a distinct flavor, and a turkey sandwich with pickles is not going to come even close. I gave you another chance Rand dining, and you FAILED, again. Our relationship will never be the same.